To summarize what we learnt in this episode. Chuck has his very own ‘guy at the precinct’ (duh), Georgina is a manipulative b****h, but her Achilles heel is Dan Humphrey, and Nate’s new girlfriend has a dramatic history with Carter Baison up her sleeve. Lily VdW is still Awol for pregnancy related reasons. Oh, and ‘what happened in Santorini’ was actually very dull indeed.
It was a pretty poor week for the GG writers. The truth about Scott (Lily and Rufus’ son, given up at birth, adoptive parents lied and said he died, blah blah blah) came out, but instead of the dramatic showdown when the gang discovered his identity, all we got was Vanessa keeping an awkward secret and a couple of dull scenes at an auction. Blair, Chuck, and Georgina were all feuding, but with none of the expert malevolence they displayed in prior series. As for Serena’s secret; basically all that happened was a boat got stolen.
For any normal TV show, these storylines would be fairly engaging, but this is Gossip Girl. It made its name for being an outrageous moral vacuum. Run-of-the-mill college set storylines about casual sex, roommate stress and secret identities might cut it elsewhere, but not here
I expected more from the team that created the monster that was Julie Cooper in a prior TV outing.
There were a few funny moments. Blair stole Chuck’s shoes as ‘prisoners of war’, and the episode was worth a watch just for his look of indignation. It was also nice to see the writers finally recognising the incestuous nature of the GG universe re: the Carter Baison love interest. When Blair told Serena: ”You’re not going to Brown, you’re scared to tell your mum, you’re in free fall. Enter Carter Baison. I get it, believe me’, it was quite funny. Because after all, she really does.
A couple of storylines look promising, not least the implausible Dan-Georgina relationship. You just know there will be an explosive fallout from it – he just wants ‘to hang out’ while she already has a photo of them as her laptop screensaver. Jokes aside, his comment :’what did your last boyfriend die of’?’, could prove prophetic!
Mostly though, this was a yawn of an episode; vanilla when we are used to getting a rich double chocolate with sprinkles. We might as well have been watching 90210 for all the lack of witty observations and scathing comments.
Bring back Julie Cooper, I say