When Gossip Girl opens with a montage of romantic scenes – couples walking through parks, sharing coffee on the street, a sort of ‘love is’ concept for the Twitter generation – you just know there is going to be trouble ahead.
This being GG, there was, and it was of the explosive sort. Eric and Jenny were on hand like the fates in a Greek tragedy, a strangely outfitted chorus there to set up the drama.
So, without further ado, this week on the Upper East Side: Lily and Rufus are still fighting, so like any logical couple would do, they decide to get married. Makes perfect sense. With the help of Serena, Blair, and Blair’s new ‘mean girls’ crew ( indistinguishable from the last set of lackeys), a hasty wedding is organised, but I’ll get to that.
Before the wedding band (bizarrely, Sonic Youth) had trilled their first note, there had been drama aplenty. A summary. Georgina returned and tried to blackmail Vanessa into breaking up Dan and his uber celebrity girlfriend by spreading rumours about her and Orlando Bloom. Blair and Chuck bickered, mainly because she was being so vile towards Nate’s new girlfriend, Bree, who turned out to have a vendetta of her own; against Serena’s current flame, Carter Baison. Confused? That was only half the action.
By the show’s end, the VDW’s and Humphrey’s were united in holy matrimony (how holy is anyones guess, given Lily has already matched Henry VIII in spouse numbers, though with less messy results). Not only did they gain a partner, they gain a son, as the truth about Scott was revealed. “Your love child,” Georgina announces to them mid-wedding, typically cheery at ruining everyone’s happiness. Although one has to give her credit for still eating the buffet after basically ruining the wedding.
If Shakespeare had been alive and watching GG, he’d have kicked himself for not having already written such a convoluted tale.
It was a week of back-stabbing, double-crossing and scheming, not least by Dorota in a brilliant bid to bring down Georgina. What a great character she is – maybe she is even the true Gossip Girl?
There were some funny moments; Dan though Vanessa was confessing her love fro him, and got very, very awkward. Not that its unfeasible; clearly she lusts after him, but Dan’s ego really should get its own casting credit. Serena continued to break out on her own by living at Blair’s house. Apparently, she ‘gets’ what being cut off is like. Um, no dear; independence is not going to live at your friends palatial home, complete with a maid on call for breakfast treats.
Equally, great look of confusion on Nate’s face when Bree says she was only using him. She uses some words too long for him to understand, and he just gets more upset. Dan makes e a reference to making ‘brownies’ – he’s just so edgy now he’s a college student! Vanessa and Georgina make the perfect BFFs. Both are so needy and desperate, they should form attention seekers anonymous together. “Join me,” they could cry, in a cacophony of unwantedness. And sidepoint, I’ve never really noticed it before, but Carter Baison looks just like Cher from Clueless’ gay best friend. IMDB tells me otherwise, but still – freakish.
Also, I love how after driving around the block once, just once, Lily suggests to Rufus that they give up the search for their newfound alive love child. She really is one hell of a mother.
Best line of the show? Rufus says to his new wife: ‘you love me like you’ve never loved any of your husband’s’. Just about sums up the level of romance on the show.
Several unanswered questions from the episode, like what do the toilets in Japan say? Or WHY hasn’t Vanessa tried to get someone to dump a celebrity before? Or who actually says “set the reset button on us” in real life? And how comes Dorota has Sonic Youth on speed dial?
All in all, a good effort from the writers, ruined only a little by the schmaltzy finish. Top marks go the wardrobe directors; some really fab outfits made an appearance. No headbands, though. . .