So, apologies, faithful readers, I have been tardy of late with my updates of the girls of gossip. Having the flu does that to a blogger.
But I’m back with some super speedy recaps of what’s been happening since we last visited the glamorous shores of Manhattan’s Upper East side.
Episode 14: The Lady Vanished
While the mystery thickens over Chuck’s new mummy, Jenny’s rather old daddy and step mummy get irrationally mad at Little J for her newfound habit (of hobnobbing with a drug dealer).
For some inexplicable (all that hairspray must make it tough to think strategically) reason Jenny confesses which means her and Rufus are on the first train (who am I kidding, limo) back to Brooklyn for some self-reflection.
Serena and Nate try to plot (to help Chuck) but fail miserably, and downtown Vanessa and Dan finally get together.
Aside from that raising the question: can one relationship really support two such immense egos, this brought for the worst TV approximation of what a student party in a dorm is like, ever.
Having lived in University halls for a year (admittedly in Nottingham not New York) I’m pretty sure at 10 in the morning students are not up enjoying organised fun at a themed party, while drinking colourful coconut cocktails. No, if they’re up so early on a weekend it’s because a) they are hungover from last nights fun b) they have a deadline c) the fire alarm has gone off.
And if it’s an ‘official event’ a) no one would have showed up b) the booze wouldn’t be that good particularly in a country where most undergrads still need a fake ID c) no way would the decorations be that good
Average episode, unfortunately not rectified by:
Episode 15: The Sixteen Year Old Virgin
No prizes for what and who this episode was about. Which is what was so bad about it; there may be something contrived about GG – all the adults and kids ALWAYS go to the same party – don’t they have any other friends?!) but really.
Getting everyone involved in the Great Mission to stop Jenny having sex? I’m pretty sure nobody aside from her dad would really have cared so much – especially not Chuck, whose mean uncle and mother were busy screwing him out of a hotel (via a sexual harassment case, which, lets be honest, is actually pretty realistic for a Bass). Plus, have you seen how she has been dressing since series one. Not exactly bridal white.
What made it all the more absurd was that Serena got involved in the ‘Stop the Sex’ campaign. Serena. Who, if you’ll cast your mind back to Series One, we first met when she was a sixteen year old slut who’d run off for doing the dirty with her best friends boy. Pot, kettle, black, doesn’t even cover it.
Still by far the best bit of the episode was when Nate accidentally called his girlfriend a slut. Love apparently isn’t actually blind, just not bothered about history.
Also, writers. Jenny is sixteen. That means she would have already seen Dirty Dancing. It may have been set in the 1980s, but come on. The musical revival has been going on for years, plus Patrick Swayze died last summer and it was ALL over the papers.
Episode 16: The Empire Strikes Jack
Luckily, with this (and the corker of a title) GG is back with a vengeance. We know this, because Eleanor Waldorf is back, and she’s vintage GG perfection – all high fashion, barking orders, and a healthy dose of unreality (hiring a sixteen year old. Hello? School?).
First though, Jack Bass has been a bass-sterd and poor Chuckles is left hotelless and motherless. Obviously, in reality he’d care more about the former but because he’s suddenly got a heart, it’s mummy he’s mad at, even despite the graining ‘European’ accent she sports, Sadly for him, she feels guilty, but not guilty enough to save the day.
Sweetly, Nate and Serena try to take on Jack Bass to get revenge. predictably, having a half a brain cell between them means this fails. More amusingly, deviant model Agnes (Caitlin from the OC) is back and up to her old tricks, ultimately spiking Jenny’s drink.
Nate rescues her, setting up the soon-to-be inevitable complication in his and Serena’s relationship (and proving that yes, soon Nate will have been with all the women in the show – you just wait until they throw Lily in the mix). Rufus, bless, doesn’t even notice his darling daughters drug addled state. Ahh, parental denial is a lovely thing. Years later they will talk and discover that yes, dad did know everytime daughter stumbled drunkenly up the stairs at 4am and was just not willing to deal (just my life?).
Other than that, Blair hires escorts because she can’t actually just buy friends, and Vanessa is neurotic (yawn).
Full update after I watch the next episode!