Gossip Girl recap: Dr. Estrangeloved

On last night’s Gossip Girl, Blair finally learnt that universal lesson: “The way to get over someone isn’t by hooking up with some random guy”. Meanwhile Jenny caused chaos, there was Danessa drama and we finally met the original Mr Van der Woodsen.

 Yes – after months of teasing, William VdW showed up in the form of an unidentifiable Baldwin brother. Turns out he’s not the philandering cad we thought – he’s a HERO.

 Seems Lily had some mystery cancer lurgy (not CeeCee – knew she looked too healthy to be ailing) and there was only ONE doctor in the universe who could help. Without telling her current husband, or children. As you do.

 Aside from the redhot hostility between Rufus and William (please, fight it out) the daddy angst was dull and predictable, with Serena moping about her abandonment issues. All a bit unconvincing, especially the part that daddy is a doctor.

 Because surely you have to be smart for that. And Serena has to have got get her stupidity from somewhere.

 Still, liked the 14-years-in-five minutes bonding session, where we learnt William was once caught in the civil war in the Congo.

When, asks S, prefaced I’m sure in her mind by ‘what’s the Congo, where is the Congo, and does my hair look pretty when I twirl it?

While Serena was giving Freud a field day with her emotional baggage, homewrecker Jenny was doing what she deoes best. In fairness, the plot to break up Serena and Nate was a Chuck patent (being single, he wants his old wingman back).

But despite her best turn in a leather Bratz doll dress, the scheming backfired. By the end she was ostracised from Nate’s apple pie world.

Downtown, her brother was doing some wrecking of his own. The genius-that-really isn’t has his ‘dreams crushed’ by the fancy-schmancy writing programme he applied for.

And obviously Vanessa, who kept her application secret from him, got in. Strange. Maybe they had trouble filling their whiny-girls-whose-hair-extentions-obscure-their-feminist-credentials quota this year.

Dan lies, barefaced. “If it wasn’t me I’m glad it was you,” he croaks. Except, clearly, he’s not and within hours he’s managed to have her almost lose the place.

Is Danessa no more? Is she being written out. Is there a Gossip Girl deity?

And it must be Tuesday, because Blair is throwing a party. Not content with feeding ducks with Dorota, she hosts a ‘rebound reception’.

When nobody shows up, she accuses Chuck of putting a ‘dating fatwa’ (amazing) on her. Which is preposterous, and therefore obviously exactly what he’s doing. But by episodes end, Chuck is off with assorted hussies and Blair is mourning her lost love. Dull.  Give her a new storyline, I say.

 Stellar episode, and now for some random observations.

 Firstly, waffles have actually become a recurring character on the show. Seriously. They are in it every week and nobody even eats carbs. They should get a mention in the opening credits. Or we could rename it Waffle Girls (suggestions in the comment box!)

Dorota was married before? Did we know that?

And Nate has schoolboy name labels in his shirts. Amazing. Enough said.

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