According to my extensive research, waffles are ‘batter or dough based cakes cooked in a waffle iron’ and they can be eaten as both desserts and breakfasts.
But, I digress. On this week’s Gossip Girl, it wasn’t just that tasty batter that was weighing on everybody’s minds (and stomachs).
First up, Serena. Having sparred with Jenny last week, blondie has become quite the littel schemer. Eager to play out her version of ‘happy families’ with her returned-from-the-ether father, she conspires to banish Rufus back to Brooklyn.
Before that, she has to bond with her estranged old man, and what follows is one of the most edited-out autobiographies known to the non-Stalinist world.
Sample: “I won a hot chocolate drinking” competition, dad, aren’t I wholesome and exactly what you’d wish your 18 year old daughter to be like. Ignore the Julia Roberts pre-Rodeo drive makeover look – it ‘really is all about the education’.
Yep. Normally I hate the she-devil in a mini skirt known as Jenny, but I did enjoy her innocent query over the teacher and the bed & breakfast. I’m sure it was educational, Jenny riffs, wide eyed.
It doesn’t matter, because Serena soon confesses that she’s been ‘a part of more than one scandal’ (more than one, as used in the context of, Tiger Woods has had ‘more than one’ affair). We also learn that it wasn’t a hot chocolate contest, but an absinthe drinking one.
Which just adds some unintended hilarity to the family cocoa session later.
Family, of course, as in the van der Woodsens. It seems Rufus is out and William is in, what with him trying to buy the apartment below and confessing his undying love for Lily to an entire university. Something tells me it’s not going to last, because resident pharmaceutical knowitall Jenny (whose druggie past has come back to haunt her), googles cancer and realises two plus two equal ‘if you look that good, you’re probably not suffering from an incurable malady’.
Downtown, Danessa have mounted a detente. But then Vanessa gets offered a three month internship in Haiti (because after a devastating earthquake, that’s exactly who you’d want around), which puts a spanner in the relationship.
Obviously Dan gets mad, Vanessa says she’ll sacrifice it but then doesn’t. All very emotional, but enough to make me want to throw a chair at my laptop. Since when do CNN just hand out internships. In Haiti.
Most media interns spend three months rewriting press releases, not on the front line. And with those hair extensions, she wouldn’t last a day.
Speaking of implausible – here’s Blair Waldorf. If she’s anything to go by, it seems you can pretend something into being real. Here she is, telling some mean girls she goes to Colombia. And then, abracadabra, she does. So, from now on, I’m going to write things like: I own six pairs of Christian Loboutins and a private jet. And then, obviously, I will.
Definitely a filler episode; we’re two away from the season finale so it’s all about the dramatic set ups. But also, shout out to the great coats seen on Blair etc this week.
That yellow one made her look like she was in an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, about to go singing in the hills at some Nazis, or over the Rainbow with some munchkins.
But then, if Blair was involved, those musicals would probably have had very different storylines.