There comes a time in every girl’s life when she must grow tired of childish things and accept that she will never be part of a crowd featuring identical blonde twins, bitchy cheerleaders and geeky student journalists (actually, scratch that last one). But, apparently, that time is not quite upon us.
Because this April, the latest chapter in the romantic and dramatic lives of Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield will be unveiled.
Eliza, Jessi…who, you ask? Why, only the dream duo from the hit teen fiction series Sweet Valley High, which spawned several spin-off series, specials, a TV show, and a million crushes on Todd Wilkins.
“Sweet Valley Confidential”, which features the twins living in the Big Apple and California (guess which way round), complete with fabulous jobs, heels and (scandal) sex lives, has been written by the original creator, Francine Pascal.
According to the Washington Post: “Todd [is] with Jessica, and the rest of the book is a series of flashbacks and flash-forwards explaining exactly how that happened.
“Other “Sweet Valley” residents parade in and out, marrying and divorcing each other, dying in accidents, realizing they are gay, realizing they are gay and in love with their sister’s first boyfriends, and hanging out at the country club. The Unicorns have stopped wearing purple, which is tragic, but other things have remained the same.
Bruce Patman is here, and Caroline Pearce, and mild Enid Rollins, who has become an ultra-conservative alcoholic gynecologist having an affair with a shoe salesman.”
Obviously, now that I am a mature, serious-novel reading adult with an MA and rent to pay each month, I shouldn’t still care about the goings-on of the SVH gang.
And yet, I spent my early teenage years devouring these books – from the special where an evil stalker tried to physically steal Jessica’s identity and murder her (Margo, if I remember correctly), to the one with Lila’s date rape.
I discovered what homecoming, pep rallies, prom and all manner of other bizarre American traditions were from these books, long before even Joey Potter or Buffy Summers made it on to the scene.
I followed these grotesquely perfect genetic freaks from middle school to college and damn it, I want to find out what they did next.
Wonder if it will be available on Kindle?