Another day, another newspaper, another installment of the Wills and Kate holiday blog.
Goody, some more news about romantic caribou lunches, dragon boat races, Kate’s love of Anne of Green Gables (perhaps her most redeeming characteristic) and patriotic hats. Who else is as excited as I am?
I’m no anti-royalist – on balance, I’m quite pro the monarchy. I think the Queen is dignified and impressive to do as much as she does at the age she is, wish Charles and Camilla a better-late-than-never happily ever after. I watched the royal wedding – not only so I could legitimately drinks Pimm’s before midday and mock that hat on Twitter – but because it was a national event and one should not overlook that.
But seriously. Are we really looking at maybe eight more decades of tabloid discussion about what Kate is wearing?
And what they eat, and who they are friends with, and which sister has the better behind?
It’s not just the tabloids either; the broadsheets might dress it up as serious news coverage of a royal trip, but everything I’ve seen in recent weeks has the distinct impression of a 12-year-old with a crush. The papers might as well just be filled with the pages of a scribbled notebook reading “Mrs Wills and Kate” and “I heart W+K”.
We live in an age of oversharing; the Facebook generation devours juicy showbiz details like they grow on trees. But the thing is, this stuff isn’t even interesting. The only solace I’ve had in the Canada trip reports is the fact that Kate’s normally glossy mane hasn’t taken well to the climate and seems a bit in need of some Frizz Ease.
Broadly speaking though, they are dull. Not abnormally so, just dull in the way that most not-particularly-spectacular people are.
So a plea. By all means, dedicate pages and supplements to the couple on the birth of their first child, or when Wills is shipped off to a warzone. The occasional piece about life in their cottage in the dark end of nowhere, OK. Not pages and pages of nothing, endless menus and curtseys and quotes from overexcited women on how “lovely and natural” she was.
Otherwise, I think I’ll have to move country. Only not to Canada – I’ve heard they’ve gone even more gaga for the young royals over there.