“Inside” is out and everyone knows exactly what Dylan Hunter thinks of Sabrina, Derek, et al.
Basically, Dan’s characterisations are pretty slim. Serena is a massive train wreck with a penchant for professors and dirty martinis, while Chuck has no friends and dies a Wilde-esque death.
Nate, as every true Gossip Girl obsessive has speculated for some time, is actually gay.
It’s not so much that that upsets him as the fact that he’s only a minor character, conflated with Eric. The revelation prompts some world-class pouting from Chase Crawford.
Of course, because everyone on the Upper East Side has suddenly developed superfast reading abilities, the author, though loved by the New York Post and Times, is soon public enemy number one.
Serena is mad because he got everything about her right, while Blair is pissed because he got everything wrong.
Specifically, he wrote that he and Blair did more than kiss, and Prince Dullard, who doesn’t have enough imagination for fiction, believes it. The plot threatens to torpedo their engagement, but unfortunately doesn’t succeed.
The person most upset by this – and this really was heartbreaking – was Rufus, confronted by his son’s belief that he is a gold-digging trophy husband with no career of his own. Which, clearly, is true.
But come on Dan. You don’t just announce a thing like that to the world!
In other news, Liz Hurley has fembotted her way into learning the truth about Ivy and now has the blonde fake working for her in her malevolent plan to unearth all the muck of Manhattan life. Too bad Dan got there first.
Next week: Gossip Girl does Yom Kippur, No, seriously. Watch the clip: