Gossip Girl recap: Rhodes to Perdition

So Max finally spills the beans about Ivy / Charlie – and nobody believes him. Which would almost be tragic (seeing as he is, um, totally right about what a deceitful life-stealer she is) if he wasn’t such a thoroughly unpleasant character too.

As the Rhodes girls gather to remember (or not, in CeeCee’s case) the lasdt days of disco (wth enough sequins to light the small country Louis is supposedly in), Carole shows up to complicate matters. As usual, it’s another show of sibling rivalry, trust funds and frightful hairstyles (Serena – seriously? Couldn’t you have gone for Ivy’s sleek ‘do?) but with little substance.

Basically, Carole protects her secret (where exactly is the real Charlie? Dead? A druggie? Or, shock horror, with a job?) and Ivy gets to stay in the Rhodes fortress of untouchability.

Across town, there’s more proof that Blair’s wedding is going to implode, as she and Chuck share yet more meaningful looks and teary glances. He tells her about Harry Winston, they all but confess their mutual love. It’s fairly sickening, but what is worse is that while Chuck’s character has developed for the good, Blair has been reduced to a snivelling wreck. Where’s her scheming, her dictatorial manner, her off-the-cuff bitchy retorts? In fairness, it may well reflect life that Queen Bee rich girls grow up to be dull and listless society wives. But that shouldn’t be Blair’s fate. She’s better than that.

I say bring back Little J or even the dreaded Vanessa, for some much needed Blair-baiting.

Nate, meanwhile, buries a story so he can win grandaddy’s respect. It’s all fairly dull, particularly Tripp’s supposed anguish about Maureen’s affair (Um, remember how easy he got Lewinskyed a few series back?) but I imagine he’s about to have an affair with the slutty reporter who offered him the tip, so that should compromise his yawnsome ethical attitude to life.

As for Dan, it seems the ego never sleeps. In true self-obsessed Humphrey style, he gets all too consumed with his bad new media press (OMG, like, people on Twitter are super mean) only to find it’s bitchy agent Alexandra trying to resuscitate his failing career.

Which she manages, with a little help from that well-respected literary connoisseur, Katy Perry).

All in all, a week episode. It was not funny (with the exception of Serena’s omnoipresent ability to forget just how many “different” dudes she’s dated) and the characters were acting stories they’ve done before.

But there’s hope to come. For one thing, Blair’s baby sityation needs to be resolved (surely she’s not going to spawn a devil child?) and Louis has got to get the boot, once and for all. Plus, CeeCee’s blatantly going to be no more, leaving plenty of secrets and will drama (so that the real Charlie can claim what is rightfully hers) plus the whole Diana history has got to come out. Bring it all on.

 

 

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