Gossip Girl recap: The end of the affair

So Gossip Girl has seen in the new year with a host of deja-vu dalliances with pseudo-siblings, another convoluted plot that makes little sense and a Serena wearing far too many sequins.

At the end of the last episode we were left on a clifferhanger. Would Blair and Chuck survive the story of the princess and the paparazzi? Of course they would.

But Chuck’s near miss is just the excuse Blair needs to place another obstacle on the road to Happily ever after with Chair. She promises him upstairs that she’ll never leave Louis if Chuck survives, then is pretty much screwed when her wish comes true. It’s nice to know that fear of God, rather than passion of even interest in The Most Boring Character Ever (aka the prince).

So it was another scene at Chuck’s, with lots of unrequited love and tortured looks. Given that we know Blair gets to a wedding episode (if not past the vows) it’s clear this saga is going to run and run. It’s a shame. Bring back the bitchy sniping of the Chair of yesteryear.

Meanwhile, over at Nate’s Serious Journalism Job, he and Serena are trying to work out whether to use all the info the erstwhile Gossip Girl tipsters have sent them – Nate having put the kibush on her. Serena’s attack of a conscience isn’t going to last long; she comes to the deep realisation that it’s the misunderstandings about society gossip – not the gossip itself – that cause trouble.

But she shouldn’t worry about being Gossip Girl’s gatekeeper for long. Our trusted friend hasn’t gone very far; in fact she’s still digging up dirt, including the juicy tidbit that the crash car had its breaks tampered with (obv, oldest storyline in the book) and that it was actually booked for Nate. So who is out to get ol’ dimples? Gramps? Juliette? La Hurley? My guess is cousin Tripp, although there’s word that Georgina is back later this season, and murder is totally something she’d be down with.

Meanwhile Gossip Girlers, meet the real Charlie Rhodes who, contrary to my expectations, is not fat, deformed or a bit of a nerd. She’s a Juilliard student, with a wallet-photo-cute relationship with Mommy Dearest. Lily hasn’t figured it out yet, but it’s a matter of time.

And then, in proof that all good teen drama relationships must come full circle, we have the first suggestions of a reunion relationship. Sure, I’m sleeping with my sorta-sibling is the first excuse Serena could think of, but there was a look after that kiss. Given that the writers need to move Dan on from his ridiculous Blair rut (I really miss their sparring and sarcastic jibes. Friendship doesn’t suit them), a blast from the past is more than likely on the cards.
 

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