Gossip Girl recap: Gone maybe Gone

And so begins the sixth and final series of Gossip Girl. Back to the beginning; Serena unhinged, in a downward spiral, felled by the inevitable concoction of drugs, disappointment and Dan Humphrey.

Well, sort of. As it turns out, Serena – or Sabrina, her perky Vassar-educated alter-ego – is apparently living the life, clean and loved up with another faceless victim. She’s so OK, she’s at a party – clearly a sign that she is a fully-functioning member of society. But before we find this out, it’s an old-school Gossip Girl race against time, as Team Dan-Georgina attempt to beat Team Blair-Nate-Chuck to find the supposedly distressed damsel.

Who knows whether this will eb a lasting change, but Blair was back on form in the opener, all cutting barbs toward Georgina and feisty passive aggressive behaviour toward everyone else. Apparently, the Powers That Be have decided that while she and Chuck are back in luurve (Monte Carlo will do that to a rich kid) they can’t actually be together. So the rest of the series will probably play out with them squabbling and scheming against the other (goodie) until the obvious finale smooch.

Meanwhile, Nate is still playing at being a Very Important Journalist. “That was my favourite class,” he tells a wide-eyed intern / likely new love interest. As if he took classes. Or went to college. Or is in any way a proper journalist, rather than a rich kid with pots of cash and a sort of vague interest in doing something productive with his life.

Chuck is on the hunt to get revenge on back-from-the-dead-Bart, in a plot line that appears to hinge on nefarious dealings in the Middle East and a woman from Dubai who he will invariably soon woo, bed and discard in a minor distraction from La Waldorf. I rather wish that Emily Thorne was there to help him.

Dan is writing an expose of the Upper East Side (wasn’t that what he did last time) guided by the Machiavellian hand of Georgina Sparks, whose entire function on the show is now the comedy villain, complete with sardonic put-downs and double-entendres.

And Lily, who after a summer of honeymooning with BFTDB, is suddenly filled with remorse over having not even considered the fate of her eldest daughter over that period. But not remorseful enough to apologise to Rufus, who has traded in one blonde bitch for a younger model – a younger model who is apparently in cahoots with Lily’s niece. Ah, functional family life.

A good set up, then, for the remainder of the series. Long may it continue, especially after the tragedy that was season five.

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